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Do you believe in destiny? Do you think that a person’s life can gradually build to one moment that represents everything he or she stands for in this world? Well, get ready to believe again, because reports say that Michael Lohan might appear on Maury to prove he did not father rumored 15-year-old daughter Ashley Horn. Ah, let’s see: it’s unnecessarily public, no one in their right mind would do it and it’s humiliating for his daughter…yup, sounds like a Michael Lohan original!
We can’t say we’re really surprised by the news. Michael Lohan’s life has been just one long, slow episode of Maury up until now; he might as well make it official. But as much as we’d like to see Lohan do the “You are not the father” dance, hasn’t he basically been doing that with his other kids already? And they are definitely his. If anyone should be embarrassed by this super tacky move, it’s Maury Povich. It is one thing to have cotton ball men chase phobic people around the studio. But giving Michael Lohan airtime? There has to be a line somewhere, Maury. [Photo: WENN]
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Filed under: Movie News, CelebRehab, Celebrity Scandal
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Poor lil’ Jesse James. While girlfriend Kat Von D looks thrilled to be hanging off of his inked arm, he looks, how should we put this, a little bummed about banging a bunch of trashy ladies behind A-List ex Sandra Bullock’s back and losing the glamorous life they once shared. Oops! Lesson learned dude - a little poon goes a long way…in ruining your life.
Lucky for Jesse, Kat is straight obsessed with his Vanilla Gorilla routine. She’s even gone as far as to tell People magazine she’s “in love” with the guy, because what’s celebrity romance without diarrhea of the mouth? Let’s review her recent revelations, eh?
Jesse was less chatty when elaborating on the affair. When asked if he was happy, he simply replied, “yes.” As for what he likes about Kat? “Everything.” What’s wrong guy? Ex-wife got your tongue?
Start saving your pennies, everyone! On October 2, a little piece of crazy-person history goes up for auction…and we want to buy it! Real housewife of D.C. Michaele Salahi’s White House-crashing dress will be auctioned off next month by the Potomack company, an all-female auction house. While normally we would chalk this one up as just a crude publicity stunt, Michaele and Tareq Salahi are sending a portion of the sales to the Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund, which is…downright decent of them.
Despite the fact that Salahi claimed Whoopi Goldberg slapped her around, lied about being an NFL cheerleader, and is generally loathed by every one of her Real Housewives of D.C. cast mates, donating to a needy cause is always the right thing to do. In fact, this whole situation is giving us an existential crisis. Salahi attempted to bust into the White House …but she’s doing a kind thing. No one should ever buy a dress that belonged to such a raving nut bar…but it’s going to Haiti! We guess if Salahi is willing to do anything for a tiny scrap of fame, she can at least use that fame to get money for people who need it. We never thought we’d say this but…but…Michaele Salahi, we salute you! Ah, the words, they’re like fire in our mouths! [Photos: Getty Images]
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When we were a kid, our friend told us a joke that went “What sounds does the vinegar truck make when it crashes into the water truck?” Answer: “DOUCHE!” Ahh, fourth grade Summer’s Eve humor. But guys, we just realized who the drivers of those trucks were. Jared Leto and photographer Terry Richardson.
Richardson, the famous fashion photographer who recently shot the cast of Jersey Shore, just posted some pictures on his blog during a photo session with Jared Leto. We’ve never been huge fans of Leto, post-My So-Called Life, what with all his mohawks and guyliner, but by palling around with Richardson, who is known for his sexual misconduct, that just makes him creepy by association. Check out all the pictures from Terry’s blog below.
[Photos: Terry's Diary]
Filed under: Movie News, Troublemakers, WTF, Lindsay Lohan
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While there was a significant dip in mayhem while Lindsay Lohan was in jail/rehab, it seems now that the Machete actress is committed to making up for lost time. According to two eye witnesses, Lindsay Lohan side-swiped a baby stroller in her Maserati on Wednesday evening…and just kept going. Says eye witness Brayan Jaime, “There was a woman pushing a kid in the stroller, maybe a two or three-year-old, crossing the street. Lindsay took the red light and hit the stroller. It wasn’t super hard, but she made impact and hit them.”
Oh, Lindsay, no. Can we please start some sort of volunteer program where we all rotate who has to chauffeur Lindsay around, rather than let her drive? We can make a giant chore wheel with everyone in America’s name on it and put it on the White House fridge or something. It’s at least worth a try!
This is already Lindsay’s second traffic incident since she was released from rehab; last weekend Lohan ran a stop sign while reportedly speeding. Only Lindsay can average one crime a week and still be doing significantly better than before she went to jail. When asked about the incident, Lohan said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Which just goes to show, when you’re blowing through seven to nine baby strollers a month, it’s pretty hard to keep track of all of them. [Photo: Getty Images]
Filed under: Movie News, Sex That's SFW, Interviews
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We are Harry Potter nerds, and as such, anyone involved in the franchise can do no wrong in our eyes. However, we found a quote from a recent interview with Emma Watson to be kind of peculiar. Emma explained the romantic element of the final Potter films, she said “This kiss between Hermione and Ron is highly anticipated, it’s been building up for eight films now. And Harry Potter is not Twilight, you know; we’re not selling sex.” Don’t get us wrong, we love everything about Emma, we love her new pixie hair, and mostly we love Hermione Granger, but we found this to be weird, since Twilight is 3,000 pages of sexual tension and about 2 pages of island sex.
These are the books where the main characters do it all of two times (in no gratuitous detail, thanks for nothing, Stephenie Meyer) before a monster starts growing inside Bella, trying to punch, kick and eat it’s way out. Sure, there’s the mental image of Robert Pattinson biting his pillow to downy bits which we’d pay good money to see, but there’s only about 2% more sex in Twilight than there is in Harry Potter. Just, you know, to clarify. Of course we don’t blame Emma for not reading the books, girlfriend has movies to shoot and Ivy League universities to attend.
[Photo: WENN]
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